By the time you read this, I will have been the chaplain at Kirkwood for a bit over a month. One of the things I have noticed about the residents and staff is that we all are usually smiling. Now I know, smiling all the time is probably somewhat artificial. No one is in a constant state of giddiness. But I sense a difference here. I believe that the folks I see at Kirkwood are genuinely happy.
Seeing the smiles at Kirkwood reminds me of a woman who was a member of one of the congregations I served as pastor. I had only been there a short time, and I was still rather anxious about what I was doing. Sunday mornings, before, during and after worship, were difficult. I felt a great deal of pressure to “perform” as I lead the service and preached. When I think back on that time, I realize that I was focused on what I was doing or trying to do. I was concentrating.
On this particular Sunday, I was walking down the aisle to the door to greet the congregation as they exited the sanctuary at the end of worship. When I was about three rows from the door, a woman stepped out into the aisle in front of me. I stopped and looked up at her (because I had been looking down as I walked – concentrating, focused, serious). She was standing close to me. In what I heard as a stern voice she said, “Would it kill you to smile?”
I was so shocked that my one-word reply was, “No.” I stepped around her and proceeded to the door. This happened at least twenty years ago. Obviously, it stuck with me.
With the passage of time, I probably do smile more easily. I know one reason is that I am less anxious than I used to be. The reason I tell people that being the chaplain at Kirkwood is the best job in the world is because the main task of this job is to listen to you. To my way of thinking, what could be better? This is my favorite part of ministry. I like to preach, and I like leading Bible studies, but the reason is because I experience those as relational. I want Bible studies to be conversational. I know it is difficult for most of us to think about worship as a conversation between the preacher and the congregation. The way I think about it is that conversation happens before Thursdays in the chapel. The more I hear you on the other days of the week, the better you hear me on Thursdays.
Peace.
Cary
For reflection:
What do you notice happens when you smile? How do you feel? How does your demeanor shift?
What are obstacles you experience preventing you from smiling? Are you anxious? How can we hand our anxieties over to God?
What makes you happy?